Since, as of today, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum officially announced the formation of a presidential exploratory committee, I thought I would give my “expert” pundit’s point of view on his chances to a) secure the Republican nomination and b) win the Presidential election of 2012. Here are your answers:
a) He has no chance.
b) He has no chance.
“This was tried once before in America, when the liberty and happiness rights of the slaveholder were put over the life and liberty rights of the slave. But unlike abortion today, in most states even the slaveholder did not have unlimited right to kill his slave” - Rick Santorum
Thank you for wasting Americans’ time, Rick. Thank you for convincing people to donate their hard earned cash to your campaign, Rick (although I’m sure a lot of it is from lobbyists who know you’ll serve as their mouthpiece). I guess Rick forgot that he got absolutely dominated in his own home state when running for re-election to the United States Senate. He lost by 18% of the vote as an INCUMBENT (incumbents in the United States Congress win re-election when they run traditionally over 90% of the time).
Before anyone gets defensive by saying ridiculous things to me like “Lincoln lost when he ran for the Senate”… understand that I am not saying that is the ONLY reason he has no shot at winning. I’m saying it because he’s… wait for it… Rick Santorum!
Some of my all-time favorite things that Rick has said (forgive me for paraphrasing, but feel free to use this crazy invention called google to fact check me):
– he openly compared Democratic candidates for Congress in 2006 to the rising storm of the Nazis, and paralleled himself with none other than Winston Churchill coming to the save the day (at least he has no ego). Glenn Beck hadn’t copyrighted the analogy yet.
– he said that if the Supreme Court were to say that consensual gay sex were permissible in the privacy of one’s home, then obviously polygamy, incest, bigamy, etc. would also all be good to go.
– he said the reason we are having economic troubles and that social security is failing is because 33% of all babies that should be being born are actually being aborted… where was the effort on that statistic?! Don’t worry, though – Santorum then said that he and his wife have 7 children, so they were doing their part to fund social security. Seriously. He said that.
– he said that it was no surprise that a lot of the Catholic clergy child abuse cases were in Boston, due to it being a center for liberal thought. So the obvious parallel there that he was trying to create is what exactly?!
– he regularly drums up fear of Islam and the Koran (he’s actually quite good at this, and this scares me because I’m sure lobbyists working for businesses who make weaponry would love to see him take the reins)
– Oh… and he said the crusades were not at all a part of any “Christian aggression” whatsoever – that it was in fact “anti-historical” to suggest that anyone but the Muslims had anything to do with the fighting in the crusades. He said any perception otherwise was due to the “American left who hate Christendom.”
So, here’s to you, Rick Santorum. Congratulations on the formation of your presidential exploratory committee. Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, because your time is almost up…
Wait… you’re saying Donald Trump is tied in the polls among registered Republicans?! DONALD TRUMP?!!? Maybe Santorum DOES have a chance…
Where Was It 